Where did she go?

I have always wanted to be forgiving , I see people and

 wonder, how do they do it?

I have a sister that I haven't talked to in over a year

 because when we were little she was the worst to me,

 she hurt me so bad mentally that I could never forgive her.

 Eventhough I had so much pressure coming from my mother

to talk to her I wouldnt budge because I knew she didnt understand

what was going on and I never cared enough to tell her because

I didn't even want to think about her. My mother said

she was changing But having to live with her I saw she was

faking everything I could see she didnt Care for her family

She wanted to get as far away as possible. Eventough my parents

Gave everything they could to her to pursue a new future she took

Advantage of that. A year after she left rehab she started to distant

 herself from her family she didnt come home she didnt talk to anyone

Until one day she just left, I could hear creaking her coming in some

nights, until one day the the creaking stopped and we never heard from

her again. Eventhough she was gone and my mother said she wouldn't

 take her back I knew she was heartbroken because she had finally done,

 it she had finally left.

Segregation in our world

In the past segregation has been a big deal, the idea of segregation is to set people apart who aren't similar to the "Normal" standards we have as in racial majority.
We will have segregation forever since there is racial disputes even now forty years after the civil right movement. Can we encourage and do we encourage segregation after so long of much fighting and disputes or races being so different in the slightest things.

We will go one as a country who is encouraging segregation over our people and who put down minorities because of our skin color. We will go back to having slaves and despising anyone who looks the slightest different, because we are a nation who discriminate after others.

After the little rock nine, has our country become worse over time even though segregation is near to over. The first nine teenagers to go to school in  little rock were spit on, kicked, pushed, and just tortured daily because they weren't wanted, they weren't meant to go to a school where there were only whites where there was no one like them.

Should segregation go on we would most likely be the best at it, because we have done it before.





-experimenting with satire.

My "Creed" Poem

I believe there is a world outside of us

I believe in religion in god as hard as it is

I believe normal is overrated

I believe people can change,

 but they don't, the words

I believe education makes a 

difference, when people care.

I believe ghosts affect everyone's 

present, she affects me.

I believe wounds never heal completely.

I believe love is compelling, 

even when it breaks us.

I believe in forgetting and forgiving

I believe in the wild how consuming it is 

how refreshing it is 

and the breathtaking part of it.

I don't believe in goodbyes, 

I believe in the I'll see you later.

     Photo by: H.D. Carberry

"As life was five" poem commentary

Jimmy Santiago Baca, an author who in everyone's eyes he is an amazing poet. Baca has written many inspiring quotes, but as we read them we realize there is something wrong in him, his writing is sad almost depressing as he writes about his childhood, his family, and his life in jail.

As I read his poem "As life was five" I start thinking about my own family my own troubles and my own childhood, growing up in a family that didn't always have everything they needed. 

In this poem Baca is speaking of his grandfather, how embarrassed he was by the man that wouldn't give him a loan for his land. He speaks of his grandfathers feeling how he couldn't bare Baca seeing him be embarrassed as he was speaking to the man at the store, as the man was being cruel because he didn't speak english. Baca "insulting my grandpa because he couldnt speak, english", is astonishing how baca remembers so much from his childhood when so many events have occurred since then.

Photo by: tim brownson

A Daily Joy To Be Alive

No matter how serene things 

may be in my life, 
how well things are going, 
my body and soul 
are two cliff peaks 
from which a dream of who I can be 
falls, and I must learn 
to fly again each day, 
or die. 

Death draws respect 
and fear from the living. 
Death offers 
no false starts. It is not 
a referee with a pop-gun 
at the startling 
of a hundred yard dash. 

I do not live to retrieve 
or multiply what my father lost 
or gained. 

I continually find myself in the ruins 
of new beginnings, 
uncoiling the rope of my life 
to descend ever deeper into unknown abysses, 
tying my heart into a knot 
round a tree or boulder, 
to insure I have something that will hold me, 
that will not let me fall. 

My heart has many thorn-studded slits of flame 
springing from the red candle jars. 
My dreams flicker and twist 
on the altar of this earth, 
light wrestling with darkness, 
light radiating into darkness, 
to widen my day blue, 
and all that is wax melts 
in the flame- 

I can see treetops!

This poem represents everything that jimmy had to go through in jail as he runs into many new opportunities as he leaves to start his new life eventhough there are the events in the past that torture him, he moves on when he sees the outside. 

new commitments

When first starting the 6 needs test I looked at the needs and believed  I would have different results, when I saw my results I noticed my top need was for significance at 93%. Even though the results said my top need was significance I didn't know exactly what it meant so I went to the interpretation page. I read that my beliefs are to feel important and unique and maybe even a bit feared, and I started to ponder that it is true in every situation I feel the need of being respected and being recognized. Even though all my my scores were pretty high I noticed that Love-Connection was the lowest coming in at 46% which at first I believed would be the highest.

Reading more and more I realize that most of what has to do with significance has to do with respect and being heard and I mean I'm all for it but it might be a bit too much as to say Im not as concerned with so much as they say "being obeyed", everyone who knows me knows I can be shy and not at all a person who looks to being obeyed. For the most part I believe this test has actually helped to learn a bit more about myself.

My 6 needs results 

As I go on I realize that I make really poor choices in every sense. I don't believe I'm fulfilling my needs so well as of my peers, I more push them away because I sometimes feel like I have more important things to acquire or that they are getting in my way. Since I go to school full time and work part time it is difficult to have other activities as I used to have as some of my needs. As I think about it over the past three years my needs have changed as I have progressed my activities have gone and my stress has risen.

I have already made a commitment to socialize more this year as well as to keep up with school, but to do that I'm going to need to bring out my needs to make those major changes in my life. As the interpretation says in page 6"I need to get involved in experiences where I won’t get any admiration or special respect. I need to work less and love myself more. I need to indulge in pleasurable experiences just for the sake of pleasure. I need to relax. I need to pay attention to feelings and relationships." And it is so.

For this new year I have also made a commitment to read more this last year I had so far read 6 books that I have finished which include:

• jumping off swings
• the giver 
• blackmailed merger 
• where she went 
• extremely loud & incredibly close 
• just listen 

While reading those at the beginning of the school year we made a commitment to read a certain amount of books and I had said 16, while now I believe I can read more. I have realized I need to read every night if I'm going to accomplish that goal for myself. 

When ever I read a book so tragic like Sarah's Key I can almost imagine it happening. Sarah went through horrible things to get to her brother that almost no one could relate to, but being so horrible there are things that aren't similar but in a way they are. As I see our society now there are still people who would cheer one the nazi's but not to an extent to execute so many jewish families for no reasonable purpose. there are people I imagine just like Sarah who would fight for all they have to save a beloved.

#OneLittleWord

My #OneLittleWord for 2015 is reimagine. I chose reimagine because it is what I want to do really with everything I believe in and even how I see things. I have always seen things in a negative way and I have always judged people that I don't even take the time to know because I feel like I already know how they are. This year maybe things could change to where no one is judged in a way that isn't unfair for them. I'd like to reimagine my way of thinking and my perspective on things.